The shame of being unemployed in your 40s

A friend of mine, who is 44 years old, told me he feels ashamed because he is still struggling to find a job at his age.

After months of looking, he confided in me: “At my age, sending resumes to apply for jobs makes me feel like a failure.” According to him, unemployment and waiting for replies from companies were stressful and exhausting. He always has to keep his phone within arm’s reach for fear that he might miss a call or email from a firm he has applied to.

Many individuals experience a sense of shame when they find themselves jobless and seeking employment in their 30s or 40s. Illustration photo by Pexels

He recounted that during an interview, when the recruiter, who was much younger than him, read his resume and relentlessly questioned his employment status and capabilities, he felt very shameful.

Meanwhile, one of my old colleagues, also in his forties, is still highly sought-after by big firms for his talents.

“As soon as I leave a company, another one will immediately hire me,” he told me.

I am not 40 yet, but I somewhat understand the shameful feeling of being unemployed as I also experienced similar circumstances when I was 31.

During the eight-month period, each day felt like an endless journey because I had nothing to do. I woke up late every day to skip breakfast, then went to a coffee shop to browse job postings, send out resumes, and wait for replies. Seeing that I was staying at home daily, my landlord asked me why I was not working, worried that I might not be able to pay rent. Fortunately, I later found a stable job through my connections.

But I still wonder: in today’s fiercely competitive job market, is being unemployed in your forties and then having to send out resumes like a fresh graduate something to be ashamed of?

Reader Ho Nguyen

*This opinion was translated into English by AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.

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